Tuesday, July 6, 2010

What Lies Beneath???

Often we hear people saying, “ Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus”. Here are the simpler Tips to partly fix the problem that neither of them understand or communicate just right!
So here we go…

What Women say and what they actually mean…
“ I loveeeeeeee surprises!!!!!!!” what she actually means is… MY birthday is nearing… so the Gift better be from one of the expensive stores we are about to visit or I am about to spell out!!!!
“ How come we never go out these days?” …. What it translates into is “ I haven’t worn my new clothes anywhere so better take me out soon!!!”
“ Do I look fat?” …Meaning…. I have done the Oh-so-famous GM Diet… can’t you even notice!! You Freak!!!!
“ My hobbies are Antique collections, traveling and shopping,”…means… I have actually decided where I am spending your Life long Bonuses, Hikes and Promotions dear!!
“ I don’t take very long to choose” meaning. “ I have already ordered for the Dress… Just pay for it!!”
“ I like trying out new cuisines in town”… Is actually read as “ you better get ready to buy me food over the weekend coz the Kitchen is officially closed!”
“ I am willing to stretch”…. Meaning I am going to on long lunch breaks … so you better not have a problem!!!
“ I like it when Men are sensitive” meaning you forgot our Anniversary last time so
“They make such a cute couple. They are so romantic!!” meaning…. I have heard her brag about PARIS soo much that you will go Bald if we don’t go there this summer!!
“ We need to get the Plumbing done this weekend else we will have to shell out a lot on Damages!” meaning…. “ You don’t get to watch TV this weekend!”
“Can you give me a hand in the Kitchen?” meaning “ I am not your mama to feed you in Bed so no warming bottoms at ours MR. Mama’s Boy!”
“ Why don’t we have a joint account?” meaning…. You just forget about the money you earn, you can worry once its spent!
“ I am meeting the girls from college” meaning “ Retail therapy” irrespective of no
“ I love kids!!!” means… “ I want to be the first one in the group to be married!” and I don’t care how?
“ I like the new Mall that is opened… why don’t we go there?” translates as “ I don’t quiet fancy your idea of watching movies on pirated DVDs at your friend’s place”
“ I am getting a call” meaning…. “ I am bored talking about your family tree” so please change the topic!
“ I don’t like men with Beard … such a turn off” means… “ Don’t ever give me excuse of the Barber shop being closed...ever!!!”
I hate Gossip” … aka… “ I like being in the thick of things… its called Current affairs…. Of people who live around the vicinity!”
“ I don’t complaint at all” meaning…. “ I not only complain but I will nag you death if you don’t listen to me!!!’’
“ I am an independent woman and a together lady” means… “ We cant live under one roof with your folks or mine!!!”
“ I believe marriages are about sharing responsibilities and understanding and giving ‘space’ to each other in the relationship”…. Please read this as “ We will be discussing point by point as to the details of our daily chores e.g.: - Doing the dishes, Grocery shopping, Laundry, Bills, etc. and agree to it mutually and you cannot at any point in time shy away from any job assigned to you!”.
And what she actually means about space is “ I don’t want to hear you say ever “ Mom doesn’t do it this way!”
“ I am a sensitive individual” meaning; - “ You cannot complain or get annoyed with the fact that I use ‘Tears’ as a defense mechanism!”
“ I think you should try more bold colors and different patterns” means “ I am tired of your white and blue shirts and your faded jeans… so please don’t ever go shopping alone!”
“ You never mingle with my family, why don’t we visit them”. Actually means…. “ We are spending this weekend there… so this a warning for you to prepare for human behavior!”
“ I love Black”. Don’t know why?” Meaning- The color just makes me look a size thinner!

I guess that’s quite a bit of revelation.so why don’t we decipher what Men actually mean when they say stuff we don’t actually understand….

“ I actually like you coz you are so much like my Mom,” … women know what you mean here “ Oh no! Dude I am never bringing coffee to you at bed.. You will have to Brush your teeth” or “ I am not going to wash your dirty socks… It’s all you honey!
“ I like quite weekends” to be read as… “I hate shopping and will always do!”

“ I like Branded stuff” …. Meaning I am lazy to look around… so I will stick to simpler choices… the fewer the better!
“I am having to work late tonight honey!” meaning … “ I have a party tonight and you are not invited to it…
“ I think I am coming down with a fever” meaning… sorry “ I forgot to do the dishes!”….
“ I am missing Mom’s chicken…. “ Meaning… “ I am going over the weekend to Mum’s and you can plan yours without me!”
“ I am taking a sick leave today” is. “ I am watching the Cricket match at home… but I can’t go out with you!
“ You look so pretty today” means… “ Can we watch “Lost” today instead of one of your “ Chick flicks?”
“ Don’t carry too much luggage” meaning… “ I am sure you are going to shop for more so why make me carry the burden all around town”…

“ Can’t we pay by card?” meaning- “ I forgot to go to the ATM to draw cash”
“ I like Black” actually to be read as “ I am lazy to wash…. Light colors show dirt easily!”
“ You look nice in anything you wear … always!J” meaning …” I Actually don’t care!! While I am watching a football match”
“ Why do you have to match everything? Clothes and Bags and Shoes…” actually translates into “That’s not what Men are looking for??”
“ I have a conference this weekend, Cannot absolutely Miss it” … which is to be comprehended as “ I know your relatives are visiting so I am scooting!”
“ I can’t sing”. Meaning… “ I am genuinely not interested… so even you don’t try singing!”
“ You don’t look Fat… “ Meaning… “You couldn’t have put so much weight since last week, Can you?”
“ I don’t know what’s the difference b/w Apple green and Olive Green”. Meaning…. well! Here they actually mean that … coz Men definitely believe there aren’t more colors than VIBGYOR!!

“ I don’t like shopping with Girls” also Translated as Ditto and that I cant see you Bargain at every store every time…. For 10 rupees or their multiples! …
“ You are definitely my first and the last!” … Meaning… “ I am obviously clever enough never to let you know of the previous Flings… and Future…. Ya right… you are one hell –of –a –lifetime experience!!!”

Thursday, July 1, 2010

‘Hippo’-critical and P-h-e-w ‘Insecurities’!!!

I have been meaning to write something more serious a note this time as what am about to write is evolving a new pattern emerging amidst the so called New age youth.
More often than not you get advices when you are actually only seeking some empathetic tone of words to cheer you up from a muddle.
Typical clichĂ© Monologues like – “ I knew this long distance never works out”
“ How can you be so immature?” …
“ I always knew he was a jerk? I just thought you would figure out sooner than later”
“ Oh you don’t know what you are missing being vegetarian?”
“ Oh that’s not the right usage of the word?”
“ Ha you shouldn’t be eating at all!!!”…
The best advice comes to you when it is most inappropriate- a- situation!!!
I am sure many of you would agree with the topic I am about to throw light on – Obesity, weight and the other ‘FATTY” nuances………
It’s almost never that I can have a peaceful meal when people known to me for years… from school or college or Infancy stage or some strange “ Hi- hello fellas at work” have to comment about my eating…. What is annoying is that the Myth they carry! And generally people love boasting about is you shouldn’t eat if you are Fat / obese / over weight!!!!!!!!
“I am sorry did you just do a P.H.D or do you have ancestral knowledge inherited on Nutrition????” is my reaction to that. What people don’t realize or shy away from is that – such questions and mockery remarks may have some effect on people who are sensitive about their weight!!! For e.g. Your’s truly…. Most of the people who I share even a basic acquaintance, let alone my close family and friends know I am suffering from a medical condition and actually the root cause isn’t the diet… but a far more serious issue.
However… it baffles me every time to bump into a few of them known to me for donkey’s years that the ‘Ice breaker’ question or Remark is me being overweight, or few chuckles about calling me fat and other such adjectives…. Gosh…. I am tempted to ask them- “ Is this the commonality you want to share in a conversation?”.. I reserve it to myself realizing that by and large a more hypocritical behavior so no one else comments on their appearance or the Spot light be taken away from them… or simply in the attempt to make someone the Butt-of-ridicule so it easies a tense situation or an awkward moment of pause or silence… I remember one instance at my previous job where some one was laughing about me eating a fruit bowl at the cafeteria…. Errrrrrrrr what is the problem dude???
I know of gourmands who basic purpose in life is to eat and venture out to every restaurant new in town… and they develop this credibility (gods knows from where??) to comment on what I eat or shouldn’t eat… for heaven sake’s I am not non-vegetarian nor do I eat so much rice. Nor do I prefer eating out…. So I am thinking “ UP yours!!!!!” I pay a doctor for that advice, thanks!!!
Lets hit another controversial topic considering we are talking so much about food… about being Vegetarian or turning into one…. The most educated people I know seem to have the least of the rationale to accept that Veg food is good…. and there is no NON VEG that can be cooked deliciously without using Veggies…well almost!!!
Its when you are this fancy restaurant eating Paneer that you get their “ Vishesh Tippani” more synonymous to SPIT…. It goes like this…. “ Yuccccccckkkkkkk” or “ Cheeeeeeeee” … “ Abbah I don’t how you eat that!!!! Thu”…. And there goes your appetite… but of course incase you even attempt a scowl… while fish trays or Pig…. I mean Mince is passed around you…. You are branded as being “ Fuss pot” or “ OMG. She is so uptight??” Really am I???
I am reminded of this Gujarati friend of ours who used to get the best gujju oota for our lunches during College days… Of course the entire gumbal would pounce on that one little box of Thepla and Khakra and mango pickles…. So why the frowns on vegetarians or advising like Old saints about the goodness of MEAT and evil effects or harm from lettuce, cabbage etc etc… Let me tell you… its not that 365 days in a year and the leap year… that they eat Non veg 24/7…. But such gyaan batofying sessions are inevitable during any gathering…
The next one is where even mua is guilty of… when one of your friend is dating someone or going to marry someone who you don’t think is a good match or you think is not serious or not worth a try, not in the league… We end up with bubble gums and not even giving a 2km –close-view of the person when questioned.
“ Oh you guys make such a cute couple?” … Really what’s wrong with you…? Or when you hear “ WOW!!!! You accepted the proposal for Marriage”. It’s actually “ Oh I didn’t think you would go beyond even 3 months!” So why is it that no one is ready to give a candid view when things are a little sticky… and not pleasant…. I’ve concluded it to be one reason…. “ On a general level everyone likes being popular in relationships with friends….” Coz they don’t want to be the messenger of bringing bad news that probably needs to end in the first place”.
I have heard so many such remarks like “ oh don’t feel guilty!!!” “ Oh it wasn’t worth it!!” or “It’s ok you were blind!!!” Really??? So where were you all this while to tell me I am stupid before the disaster… anyways…
This is also one of the far more frequently witnessed syndromes in our Mera Bharath mahaannnn.
The so called NRIs or the self coveted ones or the ones who just happened to step in another country for even as little as two days… give Free tutorials on “ Traffic is so pathetic here”,” People talk so loudly!!!” or… “ Oh you too have Hard rock cafĂ© here?” even better is. “Why don’t you have Air conditioned homes in Bangalore?” or “Why is the service so slow??” and stuff like…. “Oh I need a spoon”. “Can you fetch me some distilled water please?”.” How do you manage in those autos?”
You know what you Pseudo Desis… we are far better rooted. So thank you very much. I am always tempted to ask them these hard-hitting questions like “ Can you ever shop in exquisite boutiques rather than from Dollar store or Wal-Mart or Penny’s… and that too from a 70% sale or during Thanksgiving?” Or “ When was the last time some one visited your Oh so beautiful studio in San Francisco?” sorry!! You said your Indian neighbour… ahhhh did she take an appointment to visit you for Black-tea?” … So “ How is it that you lived in Mumbai aka Slums for 25+ years and hung partially outside of Electric trains… If you are indeed imported Air conditioned maal???” “ Thanks for the ferrero rocher box… But I had to throw away the National market’s Price tag!!!” …… “We know the Hershey’s is from the Dollar Store!!!”…. “What is Credit rating??… You haven’t got Cable coz you don’t have a credit rating!!! I go to the ATM here and I get a credit card or a personal loan within 10 mins!”
“ Oh I am sorry did you say you have an Identity there. I thought it ended with your SSN!!!”
Seems like I can scribble at a length on this… however I do want to mention a few “my own life’s illustrations”…
How many times would you have finished a story or discussion or a chat without one or two enthu cutlets energetically interrupting correcting your grammar or smirking with the usage of a new word … or even better when one of your dear ones mock your knowledge or the lack of it on some Italian freaking cuisine… Lasagna!!! For the benefit of those who I can totally comprehend may have heard it the first time here…. Its apparently an Italian pasta casserole dish!!!! In my defense…. At the age of 21 during college days with DD channels on TV was being our affordable luxury and being introduced to indulgences like Cable TV, MTV music, CDs, Telephone was only once I was employed…. It is but natural to not know such ‘Milano- Marriano’ Delicacies!!
Majority of the Indian population still doesn’t have the access to Media, Newspapers, Radio, and Internet and many other such avenues of knowledge which are assumed as a given in the upper strata of society…
I am sorry dear friends…This doesn’t define anyone’s intelligence… although this happens to be a fav college memorabilia for yall and the only nostalgic moment of pride and joy of good old college days (5 years). Sorry doesn’t matter to me… I would be more embarrassed if I didn’t know my ethnicity dishes, a for-an-instance would be… Avvial… or Vathia Kozambhu (being a hard core Tam Bohman) and not like Mr. Milan knows what the heck “ Avvial” comprises of!!!

I am sure there are some out there reading this scribble of mine, who out of an impulsive or compulsive disorder do a Spell check of what I have written here to save their sanity!!!!! God help those first benchers, scholarship holders and IITians and IIM goers!!!! I would want to believe there are other things in perspective than being a mobile “ Wren & martin book”/ “Oxford dictionary” for others!!!!
The choice is actually individualistic I suppose! Two clears ways… Being picky insecure… or being Magnanimous!!!
With good knowledge comes Great Rationale… I still would want believe in that…. (Barring a few illustrious occurrences where we meet some who suffer from serious insecurity!!!)
For those few who think I have taken the liberty of referring you in a non-heroic manner…. Sorry guys!!!! It’s my BLOG… and finally I get to have the last laugh here :)!!! On a serious note this is more a message passed onto the restless youth these days rather than a personal reciprocation… so chill maadi :)

Monday, June 7, 2010

Fashion Flocking!!!

I am no NIFT or JD fashion product ...who is paid to do this kinda service sorts... but nevertheless.. thought its worth a shot!!!

During those zillion and one comments we have passed and the smirky looks shaken off when some outrageous clothed images that pass by , I wonder ...what could have possibly gone wrong???

I have always enjoyed these observations.. and I appreciate any builds on this.....

Incase you are scratching your head... wondering what on earth is she rattling about... its.... Clothing... and its many ways to a DISASTER... or show down if i may say!!!

For starters... never wear Anklets..... on anything... you are excused.. if you are auditioning for ... Boogie woogie..or Chak de something**** india... and the other... TV programmes.. where tiny tots learn the word 'competition' in the wrong spirit.... on a regular.... meaning.... Weekly scheduled basis...
Next can we talk about this... odd lengthed...... Kurtis... I dont even knw... why we call this clothing... Above knee something... with some qrtr mtr duppatta which i strongly recommend as" sarso batte" in kanada it means a drab cloth to wipe vessels or mop floor usually!!.. and then.. there has been the "Invention of THE CENTURY " called " parallels" to go with the kurtis.. Can it go any lower.. I mean in Fashion sense!!! ..... and the kindler to the disaster .... is apparently its popularity credited to our desi pout-mouthed Bebo (in Pastal shades) .... Really girls..... WAKE UP!!!!!.
Maxyyyyy .... Is it even spellin that right???? Only women who should be allowed to wear those are Aunties.... who have washed out their bodies.. delivering Babies.... I am sorry i sound offensive but trust me its this invention of Maxi- drving it!!! Ladies ... please dont steal the charm of Drapes on windows!!!!!

Legging?????? whatever...... Ok.. for a few.. very very few... like... on the top of my head .. well I thought I saw some Mamta kulkarni song-dance sequence in those or one of those wanna-bees 80's special Movie stars we get to see climbing trees and jumping in the park ( Chitrahaar may be)... I see people wearing those with beautifullly crafter ethnic stuff.... I mean there is so much detail on the work on your Salwars that is almost an OXYMORON with Leggings..... They should be sold with a Warning... like " Wear at Home only!" or " Wear at Alankar Plaza only" !!!!
Now a little on how not to accesorise.......
Pls pls god pls.... no matching sandals concept....... Its not Babita we look for on the road when we got out... " yellow dress so yellow Bindi and Yellow sandals".

Red Lipstick with any outfit - Other than Page 3 photographs..... errrrrr NOOOO ... Is inviting in the wrong Sense!
Sarees ..... Please drape your sarees while you wear your sandals.... Or else dont simply wear them!!! coz its torture look which says " wearing - expensive - saree - cleaning - bartan"

Bright Blue Denim Short Jackets...... Now these were times of Clint Eastwood i guess... so ...Please DONATE even if u happen to posses one by fluke or misfortune.....
Bindhis.......... Its a touchy topic to talk about ... but ofcourse it cant be worn with Formal trousers and Skirts.... and everything that spells " Western"............ There are some who carry it off well..... The one i can remember.. is Ekta Kapoor!! Well its not bindhi she wears but.... a forehead red stamp - 6 inches long.......I was shocked to hear the word " Computerised Version on Bindhis" but please save yourself such inventions!!!

Sports shoes... or Sneakers.... Is never fancied when worn with Indian Ethnic tops..... so pls save yourself dirty stares.... when u contemplate a Fab india or West side kurta.. with Reebok and Addidas... Both are classy but individually ofcourse...

Bags.... Never carry a long handled bag if you are below or equal to 30 years.... those are habits we pick up on our 60th birthday :)

Pastal socks ... and Mickey mouse patterned socks.. and other such cartoon network minis on Socks...with Floaters..... A BIGGGGGG NO
Green Jeans/ White Jeans = Jeetendra fans...
Gold Jewelry...... We know you want to fluant... both Junk jewelry and the Gold.. no culmination of both on your body and all... one at a time please!!!
Hair pins.. for Kindergarden.. or for Stage shows.... pls stick to regular Bands and clips..
Tie n dies prints .. Polka dots.. are of some other era.. not current!!
Tiger prints, Leopard prints on any normal clothing Nahiiiiiiiinnnn.... Pls we arent shooting for "Rangeela"...
So no Bandhini shirts for men or women either.. that reminds me... Jackie shroff ofcourse an exception.. or he is the only one following that rule...
I am sure to come across many more of these... Misattire!!! keep reading....
and dont Pelt stones.. the next time you see me :)

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

schindler's List ..reverse sorts

I was trying to think of what are those few things " which are a more of a never do on my list" before i am " baghwan ko pyaare" .. here it rolls now...
for starters..... Never eat Vada pav..... esp in mumbai ...( sorry baccha log... my lil brain cant comprehend some stale bonda in dry bun!!!!!!)
then.... i would never recommend .. Parmanese cheese... in italian.... actually in anything....
never eat... Masala dosa in wanna be multi - cuisine restaurants on the way up north....
Never travel without prior booking to Bangalore from Chennai.... coz you cannot stand in KMBD bus stop let alone buy a ticket... Phew... kodos to the 20000 few who do it every day....
Never ask an accountant what he does.... i have till date never got a modest answer that ends in 20 seconds..... if you are one of those who dont suffer from a complex... trust this is the guy you should meet.... you will feel as big as your lil finger..
Never ask the IT helpdesk to resolve a query on a software that he can spell or ask him to add an additional feature to an existing access..... On this one.... the worst is when you give a model id to be mirrored... you are in soup!!. the poor modeller looses all his access and you get access to everything but what you requested for!!! ( i know ..... not all are IITians you see)
Never ask a guy if he likes it better here than delhi ... OMG .. you will get a Hoarse voiced Dilip Kumar+ Shatrugan Sinha (Eastman colored) double version of " Arreee yaar..... Dilli toh dilli hai yaar, yeh toh kuch bhi nahin.... hamare dilli mein toh sab kuch milta...arrghhh what???? can u say it in english pls... " arre wahi toh bol raha hoon???" listen na.... :)
Never Tell a guy while you are travelling abroad... you are Asian... see you always wanna stick to detail.... INDIAN.. or the next obvious look is " Do u know Osama???"
Never travel in US of A land of dreams.... without learning how to drive a car, rent a car, sit in a car, borrow a car and browsing the IE.... Everything that is that you need is your car..... or on the click of a button... sittin in your hotel!!! Now you can venture out... in the Metros and Buses... as long as you 3 times your size to match anyone who fights you.... you know just incase they demand a Dollar!!!
Never ask your manager ... why your hike is = or > PEE- NUTSS!! Your will be dazzled by his conviction to prove you wrong that you will see the 199.99 Rupees increase in your CTC ( mind you we still have TDS) as a blessing in disguise.... It can get technical..with economic reasoning on poverty line, Inflation,. recession... Bell curve.... dynamic approach..then can run through... some ready to use MTR recipes of " Virtual trainings to be completed" , " ##$%$%^^ personal skills to manage team and handle issues" proudly promoted by the overheads called " HR & training team" .... so you know... You are now regreting that your sal has increased only by 196.93 rs ( remainder in buying TIGER BALM) for the free gyaan Mr. Hari Sadu gave!!!
Never attempt an CAT, GMAT or GRE post classes forum discussion.... trust me all the first benchers from every single class and school is there to make you feel... " what on earth was i doing when i was 23 yrs old? "
Never ask anyone other than south indian to call you by name.. the north will kill it, firangs will slaughter it!!!
Never say the word " Free" or Even say " Dubai" to a guy who speaks malayalam... trust me you dont want to see.... a ration card queue. standing there and competing to talk in the same tone,accent,diction..
Never refill cool drinks with water ...during your hotel stays.... " you know they are surprisingly over smart" you cant beat that!!!
Never think of buyin a house in chennai... " It is expensive....oops sorry that was Exorbitant!!!" seriosuly this beats their Auto price shocks as well.
Never ask for Vindalooo .. dishes abroad.. " basically it is a lame attempt to make you food spicy coz you are Indian by merely spraying raw chily powder on it"
Never buy TOBLERONE .. they all know there is a super bargain store you visited with local junta in national market/ avenue road.. and are pretending it is from the International terminal...
Never say coffee in any coffee shop outside India.... It is simply strong first dikaashan..... mom makes .... without sugar and milk.... and if you want sugar ( like sweet n low or equal.... will save your pride) .. sneak it in slowly or else you will get strange " oh you should be on ATKINS diet" look!
Never miss the Spring/ Autumn/ Summer sales in Lifestyles,westsides, Shoppers stop and the other far fetched " Hi society " shopping centres.... trust me you get all the discounts you want for the designer clothes... at their actual price they should be tagged initially.. you miss one... and the other one goes on a sale- spree...:)
Never miss the free " Bakshanam" in Iyer weddings..... you cannot match the kai- murruku circles they have... and the taste is better than any A2Bs and sarvanas '''' Bhavan...
Never stop Bargaining.... cheap thrills i know....
Never ask women for directions..... ( cmon ladies ...there is a limit to equality in society and all ... just keep it off the roads!!!)
Never say you are sick on a monday ( coz may be with the stars above ...your colleague is in the next interview slot.... ;)
Never ever watch RGV movies.. I hear he beats his own record of huge budget idiocracy..
Never miss an Aamir movie...
Never miss Hot chocolate fudge ...in Com street by lanes... for 35 rupees...
Never miss the Vidhyarthi bhavan dosa.. and the Food street..... yummmmmmmmm
Never miss the ride in the London tubes. and the Egg pilav rice in 'shakira' ... in Dublin for 3 euros!!!
Never miss the dessert treat - " Tiramisu" in UK ..you get a bucket full in ASDA for jsut a few pounds... 2 or 3 may be...
Never fly KLM .... luggage capacity is always low... and they never smile.. i know pretty and all... but you still burn your pockets for excess baggage!
Never try GM diets and the hazaar VLCCs..... Vibes and the other million ... centres to shed a few kilos.. it is " Commercialised Hypnotism" which disillussions a few people with extra pounds!!!

2010 Memory Lane........

A lazy week day afternoon.... I sit here at work wondering if only we could rewind a few moments in the past.....
a few thoughts trickle here....
Can i be at my friend's place on time 5:30 as promised for chai and bhajjis without Airtel subscription... Zuzus from Vodafones????
Can I wait patiently to but tickets for movie with friends... bunking sanskrit classes to watch QSQT or Roja instead of paying extra 30 for buyin it online from warmyourbottomintheseatandgainweight.com
Or buy softy one single flavour ( vanilla) for desert instead of flavours from Moven pick or Richie rich ... where most flavours I cant even pronounce?
Can I watch doordarshan..... and save sundays 11:00 a.m. for Mahabharath followed by duck tales and Mr Uncle scrooge ..... instead of American Idol ... Inst that Ideal now:)
Is it ever possible to have kaaka kaday chai instead of CCDs and Barista's overprice cafe ...
Can I still sell News papers to raddi waaala and buy cassette to listen to latest Hits 1992!!
Can BSA cycles be famous again..... with all the Nanos coming in!!!
Can we just have FDs and good old Banks ..instead of SIPs, Mutual funds, Derivatives... equity investments... and other hazaar venues to gamble your money on..
Can I take an auto to the nearby station at minimum of 5 rs... and gold at 350/ gm...
can I ever see a 15 paise post card in my house...
Can I play Housie -housie on New years eve at the apartment terrace organised by oldies in the colony???
Can i treat my friends for having passed in my Economics exams... at Gullu's chat or Niligiris... with just kachoris.. Can I discuss "Nancy drew" and "Sweet valley's " anymore with anyone?
Can I Rag the freshers at the front drive in college...and not get caught ..like ever...
Can we ever enjoy a wedding for 3 full days... of great food and Fun with no interruption from your boss who wants you back to finish some review or a month end close!!
Is it really getting complicated and techie ..or is it that 24 hrs is no enough a day!!!

Monday, March 29, 2010

NO reservations please

For a while now( here i mean since my birth) I have never been able to deter the merrily classified society..... Either it is the gender, colour, status or simply they way you speak or that you eat only vegeterian food!!!

I have been fortunate to travel around a bit and i can only see more of this truth unravel into a way of life for many!!!!

When you are kid you are given strict instructions to score a 99.98% ( Thank god the parents spared a few 0.002 s for Human error!!!) simply because you belong to a " General pool" Catergory and you happen to be one of those million aspirants to get into a college with a "Free seat" as you cannot apply for a reservation.Phew!!! (All those who have waited long enough in queues in Eng colleges and those who sweated it out at the CET cell can recon a memory or two here... I am sure)..
Or you have spent days staring and giving an awkward smile when the rest in the group discuss TV channels you havent even heard off.... coz all you know is chitrahaar and Byomkesh Bakshi( Coz where was the money for Cable TV man.)
I remember a few grunts to spell out that I am a south Indian and not a Marwaadiii ( coz i happen to be a wee bit fairer and fatter).... and that the whole of south India is not "Madrasi" but is quite a Geography lost on a fair number( could be literal here).
Even better you are told why there is vivid difference b/w the sub casts who wear "naamam" and wear "vibhuti" ... apparently the difference being Iyer and Iyengar...
Instances when you have to explain to the store guy why it is important that you get a size bigger than XL when he passes on a " Hopeless stare" .........
Remember tellin a few from other origin that 'Yes' we can speak English without an MTI although we are from the " Land of Snakes" or "oh you donno what you are missing eating this Ghaas poos..." or when you have to squeez a look to say " I am Indian" at the Immigration just because you belong to the big Universal set called "Asia". ( I am sorry about September 11 too!!!)
Isnt there enough already... countries, states, north to south , Men to women, older generation to the so called " youth" ...Mercedes and BTS bus ( Red buses that i remember of the good old Bangalore) , A/c and Non- A/c , Without ticket to Shatabdi, Satya paul to kanchivaram, Jimmy choo to Seconds sale in Bata......

Mind you I am not one of those liberalist saying " we shall not tolerate this anymore and all" ....ALL I SAY is....." LIVE and LET LIVE!!!!" :)